Dear Mr. Gold,
Thank you for contacting Dell Customer Care.
I will be more than happy to assist you; however, I am unable
to locate your account with the information that was provided.
(stuff deleted about how to verify who are. Notice that
this we have been trying to get in touch with them for a week, and
that this is the first time that they asked us this.)
Customers are our top priority and we are committed to them.
I will be glad to provide you with the best possible support
from my end. We value you as a customer and your satisfaction
is important to us.
We immensely value our relationship and consider it a privilege
to serve you. We value you as a customer and your satisfaction
is our highest priority.
So let's tally up the score. 10 days ago I had two laptops with broken screens. Now I have two laptops with broken screens, frustrated users, and a lawyer whose office is near mine who is hopping mad at how men treat women in high-tech fields. I am the closest man to her office.
I am outraged by your insinuation that I am a man. In our
culture, women are treated with dignity and respect. I suggest,
Richard, that you send this issue way, way up the ladder, along
with the link I sent you. I purchased two Dell laptops whose
problems clearly fall within the two repair letters you
sent me; I paid good money for your inferior product, and I
expect either a speedy, seamless repair, or replacement.
Yours truly, June Gold, Esq.
If that weren't bad enough, I just ordered two fast servers from Dell. Now, if anything goes wrong with them, I'm going to look like an idiot for dealing with this company.