Tim Gutmann, 1966-2007

I don't have the words right now to describe my sorrow at learning that my grad school buddy, Timothy Gutmann, was killed last night in a kayaking accident off of Woods Island, Maine.

Even more Dell laptop annoyances

Dell customer support is really a gift that keeps on giving. Our lawyer got a form letter email back from Dell that has her hopping mad. Here's part of the email:

Dear Mr. Gold,


Greetings!

Thank you for contacting Dell Customer Care.


I will be more than happy to assist you; however, I am unable
to locate your account with the information that was provided.

(stuff deleted about how to verify who are.  Notice that this
we have been trying to get in touch with them for a week, and
that this is the first time that they asked us this.)

Customers are our top priority and we are committed to them. 
I will be glad to provide you with the best possible support
from my end. We value you as a customer and your satisfaction
is important to us.

We immensely value our relationship and consider it a privilege
to serve you. We value you as a customer and your satisfaction
is our highest priority.

Here was our attorney's response:

Richard:
I am outraged by your insinuation that I am a man.  In our 
culture, women are treated with dignity and respect.  I suggest,
Richard, that you send this issue way, way up the ladder, along
with the link I sent you.  I purchased two Dell laptops whose
problems clearly fall within the two repair letters you 
sent me; I paid good money for your inferior product, and I 
expect either a speedy, seamless repair, or replacement.
Yours truly, June Gold, Esq.

So let's tally up the score. 10 days ago I had two laptops with broken screens. Now I have two laptops with broken screens, frustrated users, and a lawyer whose office is near mine who is hopping mad at how men treat women in high-tech fields. I am the closest man to her office.

If that weren't bad enough, I just ordered two fast servers from Dell. Now, if anything goes wrong with them, I'm going to look like an idiot for dealing with this company.

Another letter from Dell

Our company lawyer complained yesterday to Dell about our rather strange interactions with their customer support. That very day we got ANOTHER identical copy of the letter that they disavowed in their voicemail.

Hysterically funny Dell customer support message

Dell used to be everybody's favorite place to shop for computers online. But nowadays, you're lucky to even talk to a human being, much less find what you need and order it.

A case in point: we bought two Dell Inspiron 9300 laptops, both of which developed strange lines on the screen. Here is a copy of the letter that we got from Dell: (click to enlarge)"Great!" we said. Well, we called the (first) toll-free number specified in this letter -- and it not a valid phone number. After 1.5 hours of being put on hold, one of our employees finally got in touch with one of Dell's customer service representatives, "Lapsong." He asked if he could put her on hold again. She said "No!". So he said that he would call us back.

Next week he did call her back, and left a voice-mail. It has to be heard to be believed.

How to read the newspaper

"Newsrooms are full of English majors who acknowledge that they are not good at math, but still rush to make confident pronouncements about a global-warming "crisis" and the coming of bird flu."

John Stossel

Enough already

I wish that my female friends and relations would stop emailing this to me.

Saint Mathew's Passion in East Norwalk

The Community Advent Christian Church will be performing an abridged version of Bach's St. Matthew's Passion this Sunday (April 1, 2007) from 11-12.

Community Advent Christian Church
16 Van Zant Street
East Norwalk, CT 06855

Howard Kurtz

The Beam in the Washington Post's Eye

Hmph.

Norwalk has been mention on overlawyered.com ... again

Overlawyered.com mentioned yesterday's post about learning-disable firemen who want extra time on promotion exams. Alas, this is not the first, or even the second or third, time that the city of Norwalk, Connecticut has been mention on Overlawyered:


overlawyered.com/archives/99dec1.html#991213c

www.overlawyered.com/2005/03/todays_police_chase_lawsuit_ro.html

www.overlawyered.com/2005/05/disabled_docs_demands.html

www.overlawyered.com/2007/01/ct_timed_test_for_fire_captain.html

www.overlawyered.com/archives/00june3.html#000627b

[Note that Norwalk's 2000 Census population was only 82,951!]

Body snatching should't be legal

Most of you would agree, I hope, that body snatching should be against the law. But my previous post about ADA accomodations for firefighters reminds me that Norwalk has been told that body snatching is a legal right. At least, a policeman who snatches bodies while in uniform cannot be fired for cause. [Note: this link is now dead. Current links with similar information can be found in the Connecticut Law Tribune and at topix.net ]

NORWALK, CONNECTICUT – The city will not appeal a state Labor Department ruling to reinstate police officer Liam Callahan, a nine-year veteran fired last fall for taking a skull fragment from the scene of a May 2005 accident.

...

Callahan was one of the first officers on the scene of the accident last year on Flax Hill Road that killed Alfred Caviola, 62, of Hopewell Junction, N.Y.

According to the panel’s report, Callahan, who was assigned to direct traffic at the one-car accident, picked up “a small skull fragment”; told an officer at the scene he intended to keep it; placed it in his duty bag and placed the bag in his locker; and reported the fragment to a superior officer two days later, after being confronted by the head of the police union.

The panel concluded that Callahan’s testimony that he had forgotten about the fragment was not credible and called his handling of the body part “negligent” and “offensive.”

But the panel supported the police union’s contention that the skull fragment was not evidence in the accident investigation and that Callahan had been excessively disciplined.

...

“To state that it’s not crucial to the investigation is true. It’s not a piece of evidence,” Rilling said. “But it still needs to be treated with dignity and respect. I doubt whether any officer, including Officer Moerler, would find it acceptable to kick a piece of remains into the bushes.”

According to his colleagues, Officer Callahan intended to use the skull fragment to make an ashtray. Am I hopelessly out of date to think that "Dignity and respect" is the least we should expect from our government?

Disability law runs amok in Norwalk

According to the the Norwalk Advocate, the city of Norwalk, Connecticut has been told, in essence, that timed exams for firefighters violate the ADA:

STAMFORD - A state human rights investigator has faulted the city for denying a learning-disabled firefighter's request for extra time on a test for captain's rank, documents show.

The city has defended its handling of the request, claiming fire captains must be able to read and interpret information quickly at emergency scenes. But disability rights experts said the city likely violated rules for disability cases and criticized its lack of a standardized procedure for employees who request extra time and other accommodations.

The city argues, in essence, that this is stark raving mad:

The reasoning is that lieutenants and captains are in charge at emergency scenes and have to make split-second decisions, Wirzbicki and other city officials said. Those decisions often are based on floor plans, hazardous material reports and similar documents, they said.

Speed is an "essential function of the job," the city argued. If Lenotti couldn't finish the test on time, it means he doesn't have the quick reading, writing and thinking skills necessary to be a captain, they said.

"You don't get extra time at a fire scene" ...

But alas, the notion that the Fire Department's purpose is to keep people from dying horribly in fires does not cut any ice with the lawyers:

"You're supposed to give accommodations, period," said Suzanne Kitchen, a clinical instructor and consultant for the Job Accommodation Network, a federally funded non-profit that provides employers with advice on disability rights. "No is never the right answer."

This reminds me, sadly, of the hundreds of firefighters who volunteered to help with Hurricane Katrina, only to be sent to Georgia for mandatory sexual harassment training.

Quote of the day

Bart: I'm only ten and I've already got two mortal enemies!

The Simpsons, Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein

My Barbie doll's not as dumb as your terrorist

The recent revelation that one of Al-Quaeda's hostages was actually the Special Ops Cody action figure reminded me of the Barbie math scandal of 1992.

Surely you remember it? Mattel put out a talking version of Barbie that said "Math class is tough!" Not all parents with girls thought that this was cute.

A reporter from the Association for Women in Mathematics interviewed a (female) Mattel executive. The Mattel spokeswoman said that there was no intention to discourage girls from studying math and science. She also said that, since each doll spoke four phrases, and that there were 270 phrases in all of the Barbie dolls, that there was less than a one percent chance that a girl will get a "Math class is tough" Barbie.

When the AWM reporter pointed out that 4 divided by 270 is bigger than one percent, the Mattel executive said "I was never any good at math."

Thank heavens for GI Joe.

(Source: Association for Women in Mathematics Newsletter (1992), Vol 22 No 5, p. 12. Also, Mathematics Magazine (1993), Vol 66, No 1, p. 69.)

Baby-friendly states

Rich Lowry describes New York's successful fight against AIDS among babies in New York. In 1990, 321 babies were born with AIDS. In 2003 there were 5. All babies are tested at birth for HIV, and this has encouraged mothers to get tested during pregnancy. Unsurprisingly, since mothers love their children, those who tested positive took anti-viral therapy that kept their babies from getting infected. Equally unsurprisingly, organizations that hate children, like NARAL, fought the infant testing law tooth and nail.


Connecticut was the first state to test newborns for HIV. Most other states have no testing law or at most require that pregnant mothers be told about the test. Does your state protect babies from AIDS? If not, what is your state legislator doing about it?

Refocusing the CIA

The CIA and the Nazi War Crimes and Japanese Imperial Government Records Interagency Working Group are fighting an epic turf battle. Some people found this sort of thing amusing before 9/11. But for American citizens today, the CIA's refusal to play well with other kids in the intelligence pre-school is a national problem that threatens everyone.

Porter Goss has promised us a new, mission-focused CIA. He made a good start by forcing out CIA employees who were perceived to be trying to thwart the will of the President. As a former congressman, he should take the lead in preventing his agency from obstructing the will of Congress in this matter.

More details at the Simon Wiesenthal Center.

Quote of the day

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

P.G. Wodehouse, Over Seventy

Shameless plug for a friend's book

Creating the "Divine" Artist From Dante to Michelangelo
by Patricia Emison

ISBN 90 04 13709 2
List price: EURO 112.- / US$ 160.-

Nowadays words like "genius" and "brilliant" are thrown around like confetti, and students threaten to sue for grades that are insufficiently stellar. But as Dr. Emison tells us, there was a time when words like "divine" were first used to describe the best artists of the day. Gripping prose, lots of memorable stories about the brainy and famous, and pictures of naked Renaissance people. What more do you want in a good read?

God and man and fluid dynamics

Paul Nevai, a mathematician at Ohio State, complains that God got a good notice in an obituary:

If an article deals with some religious aspects of the life of a mathematician, I would see no problems with it since that is part of a person's total picture. However, if an obituary writer injects a sentence such as "God gave her an easy death" ... I find it offensive, just as many readers of the Notices would feel if I elaborated on my views on religion in this letter.

This astounds me on so many levels! The "offensive" authors are two prominent Russian scholars, Gregory Seregin and Nina Uraltseva. They were invited to write about their late colleague Olga Alexandrovna Ladyzhenskaya by a prominent publication, the Notices of the American Mathematical Society. Surely they have earned the right to speak the truth as they see it. Not too long ago, that was considered the right and the duty of all scholars, even lowly Assistant Professors, and even undergraduates.

Is anyone surprised nowadays to meet college graduates who can't write coherently? Or do ninth-grade algebra? Is anyone really shocked anymore when a college invites a convicted terrorist to teach writing because she can offer students a "unique perspective"? Or when conservatives and Christians are excluded from academic jobs? Or when college course registrations have racial requirements? Or when dissenting freshmen at liberal campuses are hounded to suicide? Or when a student is thrown out of his dorm into a cold New Hampshire fall because he wrote things that an administrator disagreed with?

Unlike the obituary which so offended Dr. Nevai, these are all truly offensive situations with real victims. The letter-writer may be honestly offended by Seregin and Uraltseva's mention of the Almighty. But that doesn't make him a victim. Sadly, it simply makes him a bigot.